Bad habits, while easy to make, are extremely hard to break. Certainly, we all have at least one bad habit such as nail biting, smoking, swearing or interrupting others. Did you know that a good habit takes more time to form than a bad one? On average, it takes at least twenty-one days. If you’re trying to break a bad habit try replacing it with a good one. Chew gum next time you want to smoke or listen to some calming music instead of griping about your day. Give us a call. We’d be happy to help you come up with a game plan to break your bad habit. Comment here.
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Tags: significance
January 26, 2012 at 3:25 am |
I have been twirling my hair And biting my nails since I was 1. I’m. 14 now and I really want to stop! My parents always tell me “it’s a bad habit” and “it’s not that hard all you have to do is want to stop” but they have no idea how hard it is to stop. I tried everything to stop biting my nails but nothing succeeded. What can I do in place of hair twirling AND biting my nails?
January 27, 2012 at 11:15 pm |
What I share below are methods that I have used personally. If something I share doesn’t make sense, please contact me to talk about it more. Also there is a lot of information in this reply, so you may want to read it a little bit at a time, too.
• Know that you are not the only person with a habit that is difficult to break. According to the statistics and studies done on nail biting 28-33% of children ages 7-10 years old, 44% of adolescents (teenagers), 19-29% of young adults and 5% of older adults are nail biters.
• Simply wanting to stop is not enough. Replacing one bad habit with a new healthy habit is a process that may take time. If you first change how you talk to yourself about this habit you may notice that over time this bad habit will loosen its grip on you. Right now you’re focused on finding a quick fix…so there is a lot of extra stress and negative self-talk going on. Remind yourself that you can do anything you determine to do, but it may take you some time to figure it out.
• Learning self-control is a life-long commitment that can be improved through practice. Testing yourself on a smaller goal can help you strengthen your willpower “muscle” for bigger challenges. Start out with changing one small thing, even if it’s something unrelated to nail biting For instance, make your bed every day. Being successful with small changes will improve your self-control and make you feel better about yourself. When you feel confident that this is a new habit, pick another small change to make. Keep adding new positive habits this way and you may not have time to continue doing your old bad habit. For example, do you remember the story of the race of tortoise and the rabbit? The rabbit raced off very fast, but got distracted so many times during the race that he failed to finish. The tortoise was slow but won the race in the end because his focus was on being patient and consistent.
• Understanding why you bite your nails might help you figure out positive actions you can take to reduce the urge. Nail biting can be a reflection of extreme nervousness or an inability to handle stressful situations; it can also be simply because of hunger or boredom. For example, if you do this because of stress, then finding other ways to relieve stress might help you stop nail biting.
• You also might consider seeing a counselor to get help with this; many churches also have trained staff that would be willing to talk to you. We are partners with a special group called The Lighthouse Network that may be able to get some help for you. Call them for free at 1.877.562.2565 ext. 103 or 112.
• There are also websites that can be helpful. Be sure you use websites that have a good reputation or authority on the subject…meaning they have a counseling license or they are a medical website. There is a lot of junk on the internet too, so check out the source of the information to make sure they actually have recognized expertise on the subject. Here are some good links to learn more about nail biting along with some tips to break the habit:
http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/tc/nail-biting-topic-overview
http://www.webmd.com/balance/stress-management/stress-relief-and-relaxation
• There is a lot of power in positive self-talk too. For example, one of your new small changes to build self-control might simply be to say out loud to yourself several times a day positive declarations like these:
o I am a smart, strong and beautiful person who is worthy of love and respect.
o I can do anything I decide to do, given enough time to figure it out.
o I don’t need to bite my nails in order to relieve stress. I can find healthy alternatives to relieve stress.
o Even though I feel nervous, I can handle stressful situations in positive ways.
o I can have strong, healthy nails that look beautiful.
You are trying to change how you think about this subject, so making these declarations is one way to start doing that. Your emotions will not agree with these statements, and your mind will argue with them, too. But determine to continue saying them every day. Research shows your body will agree with the things you say out loud and begin to change in response to what it hears. If you continue to practice these declarations and visualize what you are saying out loud at the same time, eventually you will feel very comfortable saying them. Soon you’ll notice that you are behaving differently, too. That’s when you will know you’re free of the old habit. However, it might be best not to say these things when you are around other people. They may not understand what you are trying to change and disagree or ridicule you for saying it, which will only undermine your strength.
• It may take several different things to help you overcome this habit. Think of it as if you are taking a journey and you will visit many different places along the way. The end of the journey is freedom from nail biting, and one day you will arrive at your destination by taking many small steps to get there.
• There’s a Chinese proverb that fits this topic well that I have found encouraging: The person who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.
Hopefully, you have found this comforting and helpful. Please stay in touch and let me know how things work out. I’ll send up a prayer for you.